All I want for Christmas.....

The only thing I want for Christmas is a good contractor. I want someone who is good, reliable and available. Someone who does not have a waiting list of 12 to 18 months. I already have a phobia of remodeling and therefore we have lived in this house without much updating for 12 years. My kitchen is 70's harvest gold and linoleum because of my fear of contractors. Now I am left with no choice but to have someone come in my home and do extensive work. I really want a general contractor to handle the job, because I do not want to make decisions about what to do first. Do I have all the insulation removed from the attic before we rip the ceilings out? Or do we just have the ceilings ripped out and let the insulation fall into the house and then remove it from there? Do we paint the walls before we spray the ceilings? or after? When do we do the floors? Last?
Santa Claus, please send me a contractor who will charge me a fair price, show up on time, check up on the sub-contractors and make sure they keep the mess down to a minimum.
Oh, and Santa, Brad would probably like a tranquilzer dart gun to shoot me with when this all begins. That would make is easier on everyone involved.